


Now your life's no longer empty

by iheartallthefandoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Ending of 15x18, Castiel Lives (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Deserves Nice Things, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29672493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartallthefandoms/pseuds/iheartallthefandoms
Summary: Basically: Dean and Cas’s aesthetic if the confession is the same but Cas is not sucked into the Empty. Angry shouting and love confessions abound.From a TikTok prompt.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	Now your life's no longer empty

**Author's Note:**

> This started with a TikTok. I'm obsessed. 
> 
> Here's the general idea:  
> Dean and Cas’s aesthetic if the confession is the same but Cas is not sucked into the empty. 
> 
> Thank you, cowboylikecasey, for the idea, as well as all of the lovely people that commented on her video. I used several of their ideas / quotes in this one shot. Thanks to: _luxian, fifthrockfromthesun, tweetybirb, myramaried, essaygate, castielwinchesters05, zanetabutler. (I think I got everyone! But if I didn't, you rock too!)
> 
> This is unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine. :)
> 
> Title from Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas because reasons.
> 
> This basically starts at about 32:46 of episode 15x18.
> 
> I do not own any of these characters or the lines from the episode. This is purely done for fun, no infringement intended.

They barely made it into the room in the basement, Dean struggling to breathe and clutching his chest the entire time. He could feel the pressure of Billie squeezing his heart, not letting up even with the space and barriers between them. Castiel pulled the knife from Dean’s pocket, slicing his hand, to quickly draw a sigil on the door. He finished it, blocking Billie’s hold on Dean and he took in a deep breath. Seconds later, Billie was outside the door, banging repeatedly on the other side.

Dean knew this whole situation was pointless. Everyone was going to die, no matter what they did. There was nothing they could do to stop it. It was only a matter of time before she would be in the room with them, and Dean knew that would be the end of whatever the hell this was.

“She’s going to get through that door. She’s going to kill you, and she’s going to kill me.” Cas nodded. Dean looked down, wishing he had the courage to look into his angel’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

But then Cas said something that shocked him. “Wait, there is. There’s one thing she’s afraid of. There’s – There’s one thing strong enough to stop her.” For the life of him, Dean could not imagine what would be strong enough to stop Death. Cas started rambling about a deal he had made. A deal to save Jack, a deal that the Empty would come and take him forever, when he experienced a moment of true happiness.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Dean asked. Billie banged her fist on the door, the reverberations echoing in the room around them.

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse,” Cas said. “I wondered what it could be, what – what my true happiness could even look like.” Dean just stared at him. Cas was not making sense, not for the first time, but there was something different about this. Cas sounded like he’d solved all of their problems, and Dean knew that couldn’t be true. It never worked out that way for them.

Cas continued, his blue eyes filling with tears. “I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want… it’s something I know I can’t have.” He was looking at Dean with a strange expression, sad, but almost hopeful at the same time. Dean’s heart was pounding in his chest. “But I think I know - I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?” Dean breathed out.

Castiel took a few steps closer. “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken.” Dean knew all of these things about himself, why was Cas needing to list of all of his faults right now, right before they were both about to die? “You’re – You’re ‘Daddy’s Blunt Instrument.’ And you think hate and anger, that’s – that’s what drives you. That’s who you are. It’s not.”

Dean steeled his jaw, searching Cas’ eyes, wishing he would get to the point. That sigil was not going to last forever.

Cas’ eyes widened as he leaned in closer. “And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.” Dean just stared at Castiel as he listed all of the things Dean had done for love. Where was he going with this?

Cas just kept talking, ignoring the pounding in the background. “That is who you are. You are the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.” Dean swallowed hard. This was not how this was supposed to end, how they were supposed to end. This stupid man standing in front of him, confessing all of his feelings while Death was literally knocking down their door. He just stared, not able to say a word as Castiel pressed on.

“You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me.” Cas smiled, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you,” Cas smiled once again through his tears and Dean just stared, his mind racing.

Castiel chuckled. “You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” Dean stared at his beautiful angel as Cas smiled and felt his heart break.

“Because it is.” Cas paused. “I love you.”

Dean wanted to reach forward, to stop this, to stop his angel, but he couldn’t move, just rooted to the same spot he’d been in for Cas’ whole speech, his whole fucking love confession. “Don’t do this, Cas.” How dare he. More than anything, Dean was mad. Mad that this was how Cas was confessing his love, on his last dying breath, when he knew Dean was helpless to do anything.

A squelching sound behind Dean broke his fury and drew their attention. Black goo oozed into the bunker room. The Empty. It was here in their reality. The terms of Cas’ deal must have been met, somehow, Dean thought. That right bastard. Announcing he loved Dean and just giving up? This had to be Chuck’s doing. Some stupid storyline to break Dean and make the end of the world that much harder.

The door broke open. Dean whirled back around from staring at the Empty. “Cas,” he said, pleading, trying to say the words, three little words to let Cas know that he felt the same way, that he’d always felt the same way, even if it had taken him some time to realize it. But he couldn’t.

At least this was it. This was how they were both going to die, together. Billie was here now and this awful nightmare would end.

“Goodbye, Dean,” Castiel said, shoving him to the floor and out of the way. Cas looked at the Empty, waiting for it to take him, as Billie stalked into the room behind him. Cas smiled, sadly, giving himself over to the inevitable.

Dean watched, shocked, as the Empty reached out and around Castiel. It grabbed Billie, engulfing her, and seconds later, Billie and the Empty were gone.

“What in the ever loving fuck, Cas?” Dean yelled, hauling himself up off the floor. “How the hell are you still here?”

Cas looked around them, taking in the room. Dean was inches from his face, suddenly, absolutely, completely furious. Cas tried a smile, wavering as he took in Dean’s expression. “Honestly, Dean, I don’t know.”

“You ‘honestly’ don’t know?” Dean scoffed, toe to toe with his angel. He continued yelling, “How about the fact that you just fucking told me that you loved me when you were expecting to be, I don’t know, sucked up into the Empty where I would never see you again.”

“Dean, I-” Castiel started, a shocked look still on his face. He’d clearly not been expecting Dean to shout at him. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. I just-”

“Save the Hallmark, Cas,” Dean turned away, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I can’t even believe you right now. Just what the fuck. You were just gonna tell me all of this and what? Fucking die? Fucking sacrifice yourself for me? Jump into the Empty so you could, what? Save me? Leave me? Tell me you love me and just go?” Dean didn’t even know what he was saying right now. He was almost blind with anger. This fucking idiot angel of his. Gods did he love him, but all he could see was red. He was so angry, so furious, so beyond rational thought that it almost hurt.

It was Cas’ turn to just stare, but this was no calm, passionate declaration of love. It was a healthy dose of angry, incredulous, blurt it all out love. “Dean.”

“No, no, don’t Dean me! JUST STOP. Don’t do stupid shit like that anymore. Don’t sacrifice yourself for me. I fucking love you and I almost lost you, you goddamn idiot! That is not how we do things. You’re family and you can’t just choose to leave like that, it’s not your decision to make. Did you even think about how that would affect me? Jack? You were just going to leave yo- our son like that?”

Cas was just staring at him, and for the life of him, Dean couldn’t figure out why. He looked like he wasn’t even listening anymore. If Dean had to listen to Cas’ confession, his angel damn well better listen to Dean yelling about how stupid the whole thing was.

“All these years, after ALL THESE YEARS, CAS,” Dean looked over his shoulder, shaking his head. His voice quieted, finally. “You have no right,” his voice broke. “No fucking right to tell me this just before you were gonna decide to leave me forever.” He put his hands on his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to stem the tears that had been welling since Cas hadn’t been taken by the Empty.

“If I’d had any other choice, Dean, I would’ve, I swear.” Cas said.

Dean just shook his head. “But you didn’t even try.” And he was angry again, wiping the few tears away. “Why didn’t you fucking tell me about the deal, Cas? We could’ve fixed it. You wouldn’t have had to risk this, risk everything.”

“Dean, you weren’t exactly open about your feelings either…”

“I thought,” Dean started. “Fuck, I don’t know what I thought. I told myself years ago that this, whatever this is, just wasn’t possible. That there’s no way a fucking Angel of the Lord could ever love a broken fuckup like me.”

“Dean, no, that’s not who you are.” Cas tipped Dean’s chin up, eyes burning into his. “Were you not listening earlier? You are so much more than that, so much.” He leaned forward to capture Dean’s lips in a kiss.

Dean melted into it. Finally, finally, he had his angel exactly where he wanted him. Hands scrambled, teeth clashed, tongues battled for dominance.

He pulled back, breathless. “Cas.”

“Learned that from the pizza man,” Cas whispered, smiling as Dean just laughed at him, pulling him back into another kiss.

And if they didn’t leave the basement room for another hour or so, it’s not like either of them were going to admit that to Sam and Jack when Dean finally answered Sam’s calls.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so some of the prompts in the comments asked for hot angry sex on the bunker floor. It TOTALLY happened, I just didn't write it. This time. :)


End file.
